Building the Kingdom

Okay, I am teaching institute on Thursday- the course is The Gospel and the Productive Life. The lesson is titled "Each of us can help build the kingdom of God on earth. The "principles to understand" are 1) We help build the kingdom of God by living righteously, 2) Individuals and families are strengthened by activity in the church, 3) We should willingly serve wherever we are, and 4) Blessings come as we serve in the kingdom of God.

I've had a few thoughts on this topic. Thought number 1. Are there times when we are not asked to contribute where we think we might do a good job? For example, I've never been asked to teach although I am a teacher by profession. Just wondering if I am the only one that has observed this. You know, it is nice to not have to teach Sunday when I teach every other day of the week.

Thought number 2. So, you married types may or may not have heard the fireside that Elder Holland gave in 2004- He talked about this dispensation's contribution in the ushering in of the second coming. He said that it is our duty to prepare this world for the coming of the Savior. He said that prophets from dispensations past had reason to hope because they saw OUR dispensation. These prophets knew their own dispensations would fail eventually, but they saw that our dispensation, the dispensation of the fullness of times, would not fail and Christ will come to claim His kingdom. When I heard Elder Holland give that talk, I was amazed by that concept. I felt excited to be part of this dispensation. Does anyone else remember that talk (you can find it on BYU's website under speeches)? It was amazing.

So, what do y'all think?

When copper faces off with aluminum

My students have been doing some experiments with copper sulfate. The waste from these experiments was sitting on a bench in my lab and I wanted to evaporate it so I could reclaim the copper sulfate. Well, late Wednesday night (and I mean late...it was after parent teacher conferences) I decided to pour the copper sulfate solution into some shallow aluminum pie pans to help it evaporate faster. On Thursday morning, I walked into my classroom and looked across the room at the pans. They were empty. Weird thought I. Then I noticed a huge puddle about 3 feet away from the pans. Double weird. Well, I walked over to inspect the mess and this is what happened (I think). The copper sulfate reacted with the aluminum in the pie plate (yes, Miss Carr forgot to consider the activity series of metals) and the copper was reduced and the aluminum was oxidized. Translation: The copper sulfate ate away holes in the pie plate and copper metal was formed under the pie tin. The holes resulted in a leak of the copper sulfate solution and apparently the bench has a slight slope so the puddle ended up a ways down stream. Copper sulfate is blue and forms blue crystals when it evaporates so eventually the puddle turned into a large bed of fine blue crystals. So, now you all know that when copper and aluminum go to war, copper wins!

And we're off...

School started this Monday. Holy chaos Batman! Someone had the 'brilliant' idea to have all 8 periods yesterday in this order: 1,2,5,6,3,4,7,8. For half an hour each. In my opinion this was a disaster. One poor girl got mixed up and sat through my class twice. The sophmores are just as confused as ever. To top it off, the gas wasn't working in my classroom (still isn't) so that meant I had to stick to the less-exciting experiments instead of sacrificing a gummy bear to the chemistry gods.

I am teaching 1 AP class, 3 honors classes, and 2 chem 1 classes. My AP kids had me last year for the most part and they were crazy wound up yesterday. We'll see if the homework I've been giving them is encouraging them to get down to business. I taught my 3 honors classes today- a couple of observations: 1- I have a lot of really small sophmore boys. I don't remember so many small ones last year, but maybe that's because I didn't have as many sophmores. 2- Maybe it's just because it is the beginning of the year, but my classes have been quiet! I haven't had to take any phones away or ask the class to stop talking for the 100th time (except maybe AP). I don't remember the last time school was like this!

My kids from last year seem to enjoy coming back and visiting me. They end up in my room randomly throughout the day. I enjoy seeing them- but not in the middle of class. Tomorrow AP is doing a lab (we'll see if they remember molarity-I doubt it!) and working on measurement and nomenclature and my other classes are making Alka-seltzer rockets. I need to figure out what to have them do after the rockets.

Resignation

It is the end of the summer and I am resigning myself to the fact that I will not die this summer and will go on living into the next school year. In a way, the end of summer was like my "deadline". Yes, I know this is all ridiculous. I really do. I resent taking that ultimate choice off the table. I feel prisoner to my work again. A voluntary prisoner to be sure, but a prisoner nonetheless. I come home late, exhausted from work and spend an hour or two feeling acutely lonely, fall into a troubled sleep, and start again before the sun rises. Is this really what it means to be alive?

On the road again

This is the view from the top of Catherine Pass in Little Cottonwood Canyon. My ward had a campout at Albion basin which is the basin at the bottom of the pass. Lake Catherine is in the background and there are three other lakes north of this one. Ward campouts are always interesting. Sometimes I wonder if anyone will come back as friends. It is also funny (to me anyway) to imagine your ward being a pioneer company headed west.

Our dear bishop is retired Army and has been a boy scout guy for years and years. He had several canvas army tents that we slept in. Now, never having camped with a fair sized group of women, he saw no problem in having seven of us in one tent. He was sure suprised when, at 1 am, our tent busted out laughing and didn't stop for quite a while. To quote him-"At first I thought it was just one of you and it would stop in a minute. Then there were more of you. Then I wondered if you'd ever stop and what on earth was so funny". Well, bishop, there wasn't anything funny. That's just what happens when you put a lot of girls in one place late at night.

Hike Naked...it adds color to your cheeks!

So, I got back last Thursday from my backpacking trip. Yes, I wore clothes most of the time. It was so fun. I camped at a campground in the Unitas on Tuesday and on Wednesday I hiked up to Amethyst lake. It was about a 5 miles trip, the last 3 of which were uphill. Yes, I was packing all of my gear- and you know what? I made it. It was a beautiful hike- the wildflowers were in bloom and the trail crossed several beautiful streams. Actually, there wasn't much of a trail past a certain point, but that's okay.

I camped in a meadow about 1/2 mile from the lake (there were boy scouts with horses at the lake) and did some exploring. I hiked over to Ostler Lake (really no trail this time- found it with a compass) and that was great. I was the only one there- no commotion. I camped in the meadow and had some great beef stew for dinner (dehydrated and then rehydrated using hot water). I spent some time at the lake the next morning and then headed back down the mountain.

Going up took more energy than going down, but I was more sore from going down- weird calf muscles in use I guess. Overall though, I suprised myself at how well I handled it physically. The mosquitos were out in full force and despite an entire can of OFF (travel size mind you) I still have quite a few souvenirs. Oh, and no pictures because I forgot to put the batteries into the camera.

...Polo!

Remember playing Marco Polo in the swimming pool when we were kids? That's a little bit like what this post is. Me shouting Polo! to those who are curious about where I am. Picture me as a groundhog, or better yet, a MOLE (get it chem wizzes?) that pops her head up every once in a while just so you know she's there, but as soon as try to catch her, she's gone again.

I am actually back in SLC for now. I had an awesome trip(s) to the following: Richland, Seattle, Orlando, Cozumel, Roaton (Honduras), Belize City, Freeport Bahamas, Cedar City, St. George, and Zion National Park. I'll write more about my adventures later when I have a longer attention span. (Will that ever happen??)

I am feeling much better about life these days. Being away from students and chemistry has enabled me to try out some new things and begin to find talents and interests I've never known I had because I've always been so engrossed in school. One of my new interests is hiking/backpacking. I did a lot of hiking in Zion and I am thinking of going backpacking near Flaming Gorge this week. I know backpacking alone isn't a great idea, but I can't let my lack of friends with time on their hands stop me because if I stay in one place and am left to my own devices, I am not safe. Anyhow, I thought I'd post a few pictures of me and my adventures just for those of you who are curious :)

Grand Bahama Island-I went parasailing! Yay!


Jillian and I in Honduras


Temple of the moon, Mayan ruins at Tulum, Mexico. You can't tell from the picture, but it is very very very hot!!!
Hidden Canyon at Zion national park. Good thing I'm there to hold up the mountain!

Okay, so this is funny

The Fugitive

I've disappeared. I've gone into hiding. No one actually knows where I am. I've spent 1 night at home since June 24. Now, I am sure that if someone was desperate to find me, they could, but as it stands now, I have disappeared.

It feels great to be in hiding. It feels as if my life is completely inconsequential and that if I slipped off the face of the earth, nothing would be the worse. Why am I so attracted to this feeling? Dunno. Maybe this is what I'm going for when I reach for the Tylenol. I realize that I might be unique here. I am not secretly wishing for someone to find me. I am much more at ease- I've been able to meet people and talk easily with people I have just met. I feel like a different person. And, tomorrow, I might just get up and be someone else. No rules, no responsibilities, no strings attached.

Why am I hiding in the first place? It's July. I am afraid to go home.

Better than the book

I'm spending part of this week in Cedar City at the Shakespeare festival. Today, I saw Cyrano de Bergyrac and Two Gentlemen of Verona.

I've decided that Shakespeare plays are much better on stage than on paper. I am realizing that I don't get the humor as well when I am simply reading a play. Shakespeare's humor is so different from modern humor that it's hard for me to pick up on. The director and actors did an amazing job interpreting the play. Two Gentlemen is a comedy- it pits the friendship story against the love story. If you really want to know, I am sure wikipedia or something can tell you all about it. Suffice to say, I hated the way it ended! Julia is a sweet, beautiful, innocent young woman but loses her head to her heart and takes back a total bum for a husband. This play has a plot that resembles the drama my students are constantly embroiled in. He likes her and she likes him who hates the other him but secretly likes her best friend and meanwhile the parents...you know.

Cyrano de Bergyrac isn't a Shakespeare play but was amazing. I had a basic idea of the plot, but I didn't know the detail or the pathos that makes up so much of the play. The play explores Cyrano's insecurity about his exceptionally large nose and the loneliness and shame that results. Cyrano's character resonated with me- he felt like no one could ever love him. Never mind that he was exceptionally witty, courageous, charismatic, gentle, an exceptionally brilliant poet- he pushed everyone away from him because of the shame he felt. The beautiful Roxanne falls in love with his soul without knowing his true identity. Long story short (again, see wikipedia) the story is deeply tragic and only in his dying hour does Roxanne find out his true identity. Beautiful love story, amazingly tragic, deep pathos.

This is a great change from the world of high school chemistry and all the associated drama!

My First "Tag"...hmmm

A) Four places I visit over and over:

• The Manavu chapel
• Stewart Falls
• IKEA
• Jordan High
  

B ) Four people who email me (regularly):

• Students
• Students' parents
• VPs
• AP College board
  

C) Four places I like to eat:

• Jessica's house :)
• The Pie
• Ruth's Diner
• 'Ella Good (Hawaiian ice stand in Provo- I don't think it's there any more, but it was AMAZING!)
  

D) Four places I'd rather be right now:

• BYU
• On a date
• Performing on Broadway
• Pushing up tulips
  

E) Four TV shows (movies) I would watch over and over:

• MASH
• Cosby
• Mona Lisa Smile
• ???
  

Mmmmm...Summer!

Face to face with the Black Dog

Winston Churchill was the Prime Minister of Britain during WWII. As Prime Minister, he led his countrymen into some of the fiercest battles this world has ever known. At the same time, Churchill fought his own inward battle with what he euphemistically called the "black dog". What is the Black Dog? Depression. Deep, suffocating, clinical depression.

Clinical Depression isn't just the "blues" or a few bad days in a row, or grieving the death of a loved one. Depression is an abnormal response to a normal situation. For instance, it is normal to grieve when a loved one dies. It becomes depression when mourning does not fade after a reasonable period of time. Depression isn't feeling heartache about a broken relationship. This is normal. Difficult things happen to each of us in life and it can be expected that we will all feel something akin to the symptoms of depression several times during our lives.

To be diagnosed with depression, five of the following nine criteria must be met within a two week period including depressed mood and lack of interest or pleasure:

• Depressed mood
• Decreased interest or pleasure
• Unexplained weight changes
• Sleep disturbances
• Psychomotor agitation or retardation
  
• fatigue
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt
• Inability to concentrate
• Thoughts of death or suicide
  

Clinical depression ranges in severity from mild to severe- with psychotic symptoms. In many cases, it is easily treated and abates within a reasonable amount of time (on the order of months). Other times, this is not the case.

Why am I writing this? To tell the truth, I do not know. I have been dealing with depression in one form or another for 5 years. It has been a major factor if not the commanding factor in essentially every major decision or event since I started college. I used to try to keep it a secret. I don't really try anymore. I suppose there are people that guessed it, but I don't know who.

I'm surprised at how resilient I've been. I have been kicked over and over and yet I keep getting back up. No mission? wait a year and try again. Still no mission? graduate college- with 198.5 credits. Crisis counseling Saturday morning? play the organ at church on Sunday. Can't afford medication because of crappy insurance? get the doctor to give you samples. Spend the night in the ED? go to class the next day. Spend the weekend drinking mucomyst (think rotten egg juice)? Educate the nurse about the biochemical pathways that you threw out of whack and present your data at lab meeting on Tuesday. Psychiatrist writes involuntary commitment orders on you and you end up locked up with no shoelaces or a shower head for an undetermined length of time? Ask for permission to study your neuroscience book. Doc says no studying-focus on mental health instead? surprise the doc by reading the book she gives you in under 3 hours. Get hauled off by the police to another hospital 5 days after being released from the last hospital? Tell off the supervising psychologist that sent you there (I don't recommend this one- he can testify against you in a mental health court). Get told that you either move to WA or have a commitment hearing for the state hospital? Have a melt-down then move to WA, find a job, and learn to sew. Forced to drop out of a PhD program? Find a new career teaching chemistry. Can't pay the $60,000 in medical bills that your previously mentioned crappy insurance won't cover? Get financial assistance and pay off the rest, bit by painful bit.

So, I am not your typical psych patient. I've got a host of "diagnoses", but those are relatively meaningless in a realm where labels are based on a collection of symptoms rather than a specific etiology. If I'd been the typical psych patient, I'd probably be on welfare, living with my parents, and working a minimum wage job.

It's been over a year since any psych unit admissions (lockups). It's been since February since any "overmedication" or ED visits. This should be a source of satisfaction, but it is NOT! And now, I think I have arrived my point in writing all of this. Looking at these measures, yes, I am getting "better". At least better enough to make the people around me more comfortable. But I am NOT better! Or am I? Maybe I am just refusing to believe I can get better. Maybe my identity has become enmeshed with my 'illness' to the point where I can no longer separate the two. Who am I when the black dog leaves?

I don't know the answer to these questions- surprise, surprise. All I know for now is that school is almost out, summer vacation is almost here, and for the past year, I have been obsessing about killing myself by overdosing on Tylenol this July. Just because I have these obsessions doesn't mean I have to act on them, but I get a little stubborn sometimes. I know neither source nor salve, just that I am alone.

If I hear the words "Extra Credit?" one more time...

I can make it. I can make it. I can make it. Two more days before grades are final. In the meantime...heaven help the next kid that asks me for extra credit! Students do a lot of irritating things some of which bug me more than others. One of my top five is students asking for extra credit starting about 2 weeks before the end of a grading period. Here are the reasons why it makes me so unbelievably grumpy:

• Collecting and grading extra credit just makes more work for me.
• Students cheat on extra credit assignments
• Students don't understand that it is a privilege, NOT an entitlement
• Why should I let a student who has a 32% do enough extra credit to pass? Isn't it against some ethical code to pass a student who has absolutely no understanding of the material?
• Why can't the panic about passing my class start at the BEGINNING of the quarter??
• If a student hasn't been doing their assignments during the quarter, why on earth should I give them MORE work?
• They assume I like them. Most of the time I do, but not when they interrupt class, sleep through class, throw things at the garbage can and miss, text, skip class, etc. No, you are not my "favorite student", yes, I can live with myself if I fail you, and having you behave in class is worth infinitely more than the $100/apple pie/car wash you are offering me.

Bottom line- the more you ask me about extra credit, the LESS likely I am to offer any!

Vote

Okay, I need a new swimsuit for vacation this summer. I can't figure out what I want, so I need some opinions. What do you think? Keep in mind that I have an unfortunately ginormous bust line and I am trying to stay at least sort of modest. It's kind of a shame though...I bet I'd look real good in some of those plunging neckline suits! :)

The Big Picture??

4 weeks of school left- this has been a year I never want to repeat again but has been truly unique. I am ready to drop kick some of my students to the moon. I love my kids but they make me pull my hair out :) State and AP testing are this week and next and my kids assume they are done after that...hmmm...I wish we could ALL be done. I have been so frustrated and so excited and so worn out and so worried and so crazed this year! How am I going to make it through 42 more???

I am definitely sure I could not have made it through this year if I'd had a family or friends or hobbies to try to keep up with. It is super pathetic but right now my students are my social life. They want me to go to prom, they want me to go bowling with them, they hang out in my room...all...after...noon.... they even attempt to find dates for me. They are funny. I had to quit piano and organ for a while because I just didn't have time and it resulted in a full blown melt-down-throwing books at piano teacher-begging the bishop to be released from playing the organ- bishop giving you the "what do I do with you"? look- tears-never listen to music again melt down. I am back to playing organ on Sundays, sometimes, but that's it. Kind of lame of me, I know.

I miss being a student. I really do. I feel like my mind has a slow leak in it when I teach school. I repeat myself 50 times a day and things that my kids think are the most complicated things on the planet are things I can do in my sleep- they are merely tools, or a language, or a basis for understanding something bigger. All I hear all day though is how hard chemistry is. I know chemistry is hard. I really do. I have given blood, sweat, tears, and more for the sake of chemistry (literally!). And I understand and have empathy for the struggles my kids have. But sometimes I feel like shaking my head and telling them to hurry up and get it already so we can move on and talk about the interesting stuff!!! (2nd period knows they can derail me on anything physiology related). Maybe Heavenly Father feels that way, only in His infinite patience, he smiles and waits for us to sort through the forests on our own while He looks on the Big Picture?

San Fransisco

San Fransisco was a great shift from UT in the winter. It was warm enough to walk on the bay shore with no shoes on...that's warm enough for me. Being barefoot was great- and I was lucky enough to avoid stepping on any sand crabs. Chrissy Field is a great place to just walk and enjoy the sun. It is near the Exploratorium which is a very cool hands-on science museum. That was probably my favorite part of the trip. It was cool to experience all the things I learned in college up close.

They had a special exhibit about the mind. Nerdy neuroscientist that I am, I was fascinated by all those demonstrations. It was all stuff I'd learned about but for the most part had never experienced. It was especially cool because I knew all of the biological mechanisms explaining what t he exhibits were about. Lots of cool physics stuff as well. Take your kids there- they'll love it. I wish we had a science museum like that in UT.


We also spent some time at the famous Winchester house. Mrs. Winchester inherited her husband's fortune (the Winchester rifle fortune) and moved to CA. She says a spirit told her that to avoid death, she needed to build a house but never finish it. So, she did. The thing that makes this a tourist trap is that she used the most nonsensical architecture you've ever heard of. Doors that go to nowhere, stairs that go to nowhere. Cupboard doors with no cupboard behind, seonce rooms, 13 bathrooms, etc. Just weird stuff mostly. Yes, it's a tourist trap, but my friend wanted to go, so we did. And yes, this door is really a door on the second story that goes to absolutely nowhere, and yes, you can open it.

I also got to go to the Modern Art Museum while my friend went to the aquarium. (most of you know how I feel about fish...) Turns out, I like some modern art, I don't like some modern art. I learned that I go on vacation a lot like my Dad- I like to go and do and keep busy. I also have a navigational sense based on an internal compass instead of a road map. Basically I just aim the car in the direction I want to go and hope there's a road that goes there. My friend's idea of vacation was a lot more like my mom's- take it easy and relax.

Gotta love spring break!

I guess some of us just never have to grow up. I am one of the privileged few "working" adults who gets an automatic spring break. (Never mind that I spent 40% of it grading lab reports!) This March, I did something TOTALLY out of character and took a break! I went with a friend to San Francisco. I'll write more later, but just know that CA weather sure beats UT weather this time of year!

So long Sammi

I miss Sammi. I cried my eyes out when I had to say goodbye and abandon her. I can't believe she's gone. I miss her! I need to make a list of my memories with her- maybe that will help.

Driving her for the first time- on the highway outside of West Richland.

Driving her to work at the 300 area for the last 2 weeks I worked there.

Only listening to church music for the first 6 months I drove her because she used to be a mission car and I didn't want to disturb any sense of equilibrium.

Sammi came into my life during a time when I didn't have a lot to be happy about.

Packing all of my belongings and driving off to Utah for my last semester at BYU.

Driving down University Parkway in Orem headed towards Provo at night and seeing the Provo temple come into view as a beacon on a hill.

Going back and forth to Lone Peak for my first semester teaching.

Going back and forth to Riverton for my first real career.

Driving 4 wonderful ladies in my ward to the Manti pagent

Parking Sammi at Salt Lake International while I left on my first cross-country interview trip to Iowa City. I felt very "grown-up"

Looking for my car in the parking lot by the WILK for the umpteenth time after forgetting where I parked.

Locking my keys in the trunk on my last day of work at Riverton

Packing everything I owned and driving off to Salt Lake to start career number 2.

Hanging my institute parking pass on the rear view mirror and having a sense of security knowing that there are still good people outside of Utah County.

Driving to Orem to see Dr. Paulson on October 11, 2006- taking one Tylenol followed by throwing one out the window, etc. until I got to Orem. Dr. Paulson, in his gentle way, convinced me to go to the ER.

Repeating the above scenario a month later on my way to see Debra- it was Friday morning and I was supposed to be in the lab slicing rat brains, but instead I was on my way to ending up admitted into UVRMC.

Sammi had an arm rest with storage space that came in useful for storing pills. I sat in the front seat with a frozen water bottle when I took them in December.

Gingerly driving the long way to WA after being banished from the state of Utah. Sammi was my sense of security. The only element of my world that was going to remain constant.

Driving to the temple in the middle of the night trying again to understand.

Driving to my first day of work in my 3rd career.

Changing her front light bulb and the coolant while wearing a skirt in the VP parking lot.

Seeing Sammi as the only car left in the parking lot when being "escorted" out of the school at 1:00 am

Changing her license plates to the Utah skier plates while feeling like I was betraying her.

Weeping in the driver's seat after quitting piano lessons and music for the rest of my life.

I never should have gotten in the car Feb 10. Brother Packard and the Bishop tell me that I wasn't in my right frame of mind. So when I couldn't stop in time on 60th S and 9E...Sammi, I am so sorry!!!! I let you down. You were there for me and I was irresponsible and now you are being sold for parts. I miss you.

Your Dominant Intelligence is Logical-Mathematical Intelligence

You are great at finding patterns and relationships between things. Always curious about how things work, you love to set up experiments. You need for the world to make sense - and are good at making sense of it. You have a head for numbers and math ... and you can solve almost any logic puzzle. You would make a great scientist, engineer, computer programmer, researcher, accountant, or mathematician.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

One good day

I finally got my office organized at work..something I have been trying to do since August. Next task is the prep room, but that is quite the daunting task. Yesterday was a pretty good day at school-well, at least 1st period. My honors class has been talking about crystal structures and on Monday I had them make Alum crystals (Alum is in deodorant) and yesterday we looked at them under the microscopes along with some other types of crystals. I didn't give them an assignment about it and I think that was a good decision because they just took the opportunity to be curious. They were really excited about their crystals- they all turned out differently which was weird, but a lot of them wanted to take theirs home...a couple even want to come in after school and work on setting it up so that their crystals will keep growing. Then, after they'd looked at their crystals, they started looking at other stuff under the scopes. The boys were going about trying to find blood samples ( I had to keep taking away forceps from them) and the girls became fascinated with looking at their hair under the scopes. Typical!

Parent teacher conferences are at the end of the month- I just LOVE those.... March will be a long month, but at the end we have spring break- no plans which isn't a good thing for me, but I do have a few weeks. The AP exam is in May, and my kids don't realize how much left they have to learn so they really haven't kicked it into gear yet. (I have a couple of lazy guys-but the girls are on top of things) I am hearing a lot of talk about kids wanting to take AP next year, which is exciting for me, especially since it won't be my first year with AP next year, and I'll have a much better idea of how to teach the class. Also, I am drawing the line. NO more Saturday labs. Either they take the AP science lab as part of their school schedule or they register for the course at the U and take it there (unfortunately having to pay tuition) Saturday labs are just too much.

Thoughts about a good night of sleep

I like sleep. I really do. It's just that some times (okay, most times) it hits the bottom of the priority list. I mean, I have been grading lab reports in my sleep and wake up the next day unable to read what I have written. I have 3 alarms in my apartment in 3 different "rooms" to wake me up at 5:45. I am proud to say that I have taken naps in every building at BYU on account of being sleep deprived (tip- the orange couch on the second floor of the old section of the library in the mother's room of the women's restroom is a very good place to sleep. But if you are worried about waking up before your next class, hit the basement of the Benson building- its relatively quiet and there is a loud bell to wake you up before class) My parents complain that when I was a baby, I would open my eyes every time they started to leave my room after they thought I was asleep. In junior high, I would sleep with a flashlight so I could read under the covers without mom and dad knowing I was awake. I wrote my best papers between 10:00 at night and 6:00 in the morning. Bottom line: Long history of sleep deprivation

Last night, I came home about 10:30 and instead of going to sleep, I decided to grade the rest of AP Chem's thermo assignments (they hate thermo. they also butcher it) Then, I decided to eat a sandwich. While making the sandwich, it all of a sudden became necessary for me to look up the pharmacokinetic data for a certain prescription drug. After I satisfied that curiosity, it was time to decide what to wear to church to day. Then, I remembered that I was in the middle of making a sandwich. So, I finish with the sandwich and go back to my pharmacology research. It is now 2:00 in the morning and I feel myself giving way to sleep. I crawl into my wonderful bed, pull up my covers (I love sleeping with tons of blankets when it is cold outside!) I find my b-b and BAM! I am asleep. I wake up at 12:00 Sunday afternoon (Don't worry, church is at 1:30) It felt wonderful to get that much sleep. It was like I was a different person.

Now the question. Why on earth was all that other stuff so important to give up sleep for????? I am reminded of a line from Harry Potter- Ron comments to Harry about Herminione "She needs to sort out her priorities"!!!