Monday, May 05, 2008

The Big Picture??

4 weeks of school left- this has been a year I never want to repeat again but has been truly unique. I am ready to drop kick some of my students to the moon. I love my kids but they make me pull my hair out :) State and AP testing are this week and next and my kids assume they are done after that...hmmm...I wish we could ALL be done. I have been so frustrated and so excited and so worn out and so worried and so crazed this year! How am I going to make it through 42 more???

I am definitely sure I could not have made it through this year if I'd had a family or friends or hobbies to try to keep up with. It is super pathetic but right now my students are my social life. They want me to go to prom, they want me to go bowling with them, they hang out in my room...all...after...noon.... they even attempt to find dates for me. They are funny. I had to quit piano and organ for a while because I just didn't have time and it resulted in a full blown melt-down-throwing books at piano teacher-begging the bishop to be released from playing the organ- bishop giving you the "what do I do with you"? look- tears-never listen to music again melt down. I am back to playing organ on Sundays, sometimes, but that's it. Kind of lame of me, I know.

I miss being a student. I really do. I feel like my mind has a slow leak in it when I teach school. I repeat myself 50 times a day and things that my kids think are the most complicated things on the planet are things I can do in my sleep- they are merely tools, or a language, or a basis for understanding something bigger. All I hear all day though is how hard chemistry is. I know chemistry is hard. I really do. I have given blood, sweat, tears, and more for the sake of chemistry (literally!). And I understand and have empathy for the struggles my kids have. But sometimes I feel like shaking my head and telling them to hurry up and get it already so we can move on and talk about the interesting stuff!!! (2nd period knows they can derail me on anything physiology related). Maybe Heavenly Father feels that way, only in His infinite patience, he smiles and waits for us to sort through the forests on our own while He looks on the Big Picture?

3 comments:

Sarah said...

Sounds like you are a truly fabulous teacher, and that the kids really love you. It makes a difference when you can tell that the teacher loves what they're teaching. As for scaling back on everything else - sometimes that's the only thing that gets me through the rough times! I like the idea of God seeing the big picture and being soo patient with us.

Dave and Candace said...

That was so neat to read Gretchen - and I'm so excited for you! You've almost made it through this year of teaching! Thanks for being an example to me - you really are great. I often think of how much you helped me that one summer - you helped me survive that otherwise very lonely time. I just think the world of you!! -Candace

Jessica said...

What a year! But you made it through--almost. I have a huge hole in my brain with all my smarts gushing out and live the crazy life of a mom trying to do too much. I haven't done any music in forever and really miss it!